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    Fire On Water

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    Harklight


    Posts : 77
    Join date : 2010-10-13

    default Fire On Water

    Post by Harklight on Sat Oct 23, 2010 3:53 pm


    daring lotus bloom
    vibrant pink on flexing stalk--
    once rigid, it glows

    collapsing in quenched passion
    fulfilled crimson flame recedes



    ~~~~~~
    Copyright © 2010

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    Jamie


    Posts : 74
    Join date : 2010-10-12

    default Re: Fire On Water

    Post by Jamie on Sat Nov 06, 2010 3:53 pm

    I love the lush word choice here, Harklight. The title could not be more perfect. In the Tanka itself lies a vibrant rendition of the lotus' life-cycle, in perfect form (smart to use "glows"). The sounding of the poem aloud is also quite enjoyable. Reputation to you!
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    Harklight


    Posts : 77
    Join date : 2010-10-13

    default Re: Fire On Water

    Post by Harklight on Sat Nov 06, 2010 4:08 pm

    It's my fav tanka that I've written, Jamie. I appreciate your comments. +Thanks to you.

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