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    me with u

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    deathkeeper



    Posts : 7
    Join date : 2010-10-20

    me with u Empty me with u

    Post by deathkeeper Thu Apr 21, 2011 12:03 pm

    What's Minnie Without Micky?
    What's Tigger Without Pooh?
    What's Patrick Without Spongebob?
    What's Me Without You.
    Jamie
    Jamie



    Posts : 74
    Join date : 2010-10-12

    me with u Empty Re: me with u

    Post by Jamie Wed Apr 27, 2011 2:18 pm

    Hey Chris! I love how lighthearted this write is, yet still impels its meaning directly at the reader--a sense of incompletion without your "other." Bright and fun with enjoyable rhyme, well done. Smile
    Harklight
    Harklight



    Posts : 77
    Join date : 2010-10-13

    me with u Empty Re: me with u

    Post by Harklight Fri Aug 12, 2011 4:19 pm

    Good job, Chris! While recalling well-known characters in light-hearted thoughts, readers feel your message hit home at the end. "Me without you" impacts as half of a desired two. I enjoyed the rhyme and that you've easily shown that some halves match. I also like your connection between the title's "with" and the poem's "without". Keep writing. Hugs, H x

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