Writers Playground

Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

A sandbox for writers of all genres, offering peer reviews, technical discussion, and more!


2 posters

    Fire On Water

    Harklight
    Harklight



    Posts : 77
    Join date : 2010-10-13

    Fire On Water Empty Fire On Water

    Post by Harklight Sat Oct 23, 2010 3:53 pm


    daring lotus bloom
    vibrant pink on flexing stalk--
    once rigid, it glows

    collapsing in quenched passion
    fulfilled crimson flame recedes



    ~~~~~~
    Copyright © 2010

    Jamie
    Jamie



    Posts : 74
    Join date : 2010-10-12

    Fire On Water Empty Re: Fire On Water

    Post by Jamie Sat Nov 06, 2010 3:53 pm

    I love the lush word choice here, Harklight. The title could not be more perfect. In the Tanka itself lies a vibrant rendition of the lotus' life-cycle, in perfect form (smart to use "glows"). The sounding of the poem aloud is also quite enjoyable. Reputation to you!
    Harklight
    Harklight



    Posts : 77
    Join date : 2010-10-13

    Fire On Water Empty Re: Fire On Water

    Post by Harklight Sat Nov 06, 2010 4:08 pm

    It's my fav tanka that I've written, Jamie. I appreciate your comments. +Thanks to you.

    Sponsored content


    Fire On Water Empty Re: Fire On Water

    Post by Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Mon Apr 29, 2024 12:21 pm