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    my babyy

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    deathkeeper


    Posts : 7
    Join date : 2010-10-20

    default my babyy

    Post by deathkeeper on Thu Oct 21, 2010 5:15 am

    If I could find you now
    Things would get better,
    We could leave this town,
    And Run forever,
    Let your waves crash down on me
    ...And take me away, yeah yeah
    this is not the end of this faithful day,
    i will allways be there babe,
    you are the only one for me,
    just like i need you to help me be me,
    you are the one who helped me run,
    and also the one who can have some fun,
    i love you so much my dear,
    please come home that will be so sensere,
    you are my baby and the only one of that,
    i helped you stop talkin smack,
    you are the one i love all night,
    and even with out your make up on you dont make my fright,
    now im arfread off loosing you,
    cause yoou are the only thing that is true...
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    Pinkbutterflies


    Posts : 6
    Join date : 2010-10-18
    Location : Western Australia

    default Re: my babyy

    Post by Pinkbutterflies on Thu Oct 21, 2010 1:43 pm

    That was an interesting write, you are getting good aren't you sweet...Got to attend to your spelling a bit, lol...You set the poem out well..Getting better and better!!!! xx
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    Jamie


    Posts : 74
    Join date : 2010-10-12

    default Re: my babyy

    Post by Jamie on Thu Oct 21, 2010 1:46 pm

    I do think this is a very sweet poem, and the rhyme just makes it that much more charming. Just a thought, to add to what Pinkbutterflies said, we've included a spellchecker at the top of the screen for everyone to use if you want. Just click the Spellcheck button and a new window will open. You can paste your poems in there and then hit the spellcheck and it will fix things for ya!! Smile

    Glad to see you posting, this was a fun poem, reads a bit like a song. Smile
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    Harklight


    Posts : 77
    Join date : 2010-10-13

    default Re: my babyy

    Post by Harklight on Fri Oct 22, 2010 3:22 am

    This poetry format is good and I like the caring topic. As Jamie mentioned, it's quite a lyrical piece: melody ran through my head as I read. Rhyme adds to your poem's charm. The write is sincere and also has fun elements. I like that edge in your writing. H x

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